The Tender Bar (J.R. Moehringer)

Despite the seeming oxymoron, The Tender Bar is perfectly titled. J.R. Moehringer’s coming-of-age memoir is soft and tough, and so gorgeously written that even the primary setting of Publicans, a raucous New York pub, is a piece of poetry. The story moves along a strong, cohesive chronology, with each chapter descriptive of a formative person, element, or event in J.R.’s development. Like a psychological puzzle, the big picture takes shape as you fit each new piece, gradually adding color or dimension in places you didn’t initially imagine.

Even before Publicans becomes a fixture in his own life, young, anxiety-ridden J.R. lives in the ramshackle world that results from his family’s lifestyle of libations. He and his mother repeatedly move in and out of his grandparents’ overpopulated, chaotic house, which is decaying from abject neglect. In fact, neglect is a recurring characteristic of the men in J.R.’s family. His father is a deadbeat disk-jockey, whom J.R. knows only by his on-air voice. His grandfather is an emotional batterer, and his uncle is an alcoholic and gambling addict. But as a strange counterpart to the abuses, the family is also proficient in sacrificial love. The innate literary talent among them is the unexpected cherry on top.

Edison's Ale House, formerly Publicans
(photo from www.edisonsalehouse.com)

As J.R. grows, the men of Publicans become his surrogate fathers, and he loves them arguably more than he ought. His relationship with them morphs into a relationship with the bar itself, and his relationship with the bar becomes the linchpin of his life, profoundly directing the course of his education, his career, and, most sentimentally, his fate with Sidney, his movie-star gorgeous, heart-breaking, man-eating girlfriend.

Moehringer’s treatment of the barfly lifestyle is respectful and sensitive. He portrays the sweeping diversity, surprising comradery, and occasional combat among the customers with lavish heart and color. But it’s simultaneously depressing to watch these lovely humans sink into such destructive dependency. It’s an existential dilemma. The relationships are priceless, but the repercussions are exorbitant.

J.R. Moehringer (photo from www.npr.org)

While the story starts with great hope for a bright, sensitive, underdog kid, it spirals downward into the depressing depths of addiction. But J.R. finally wields his incredible gift with words to recover from a bad turn ⎼ well, several bad turns ⎼ and the story ends optimistically. You’ll close the back cover with a good feeling for his future and a great fondness for his writing.

Check it out on Amazon!